Counting the days

A census for the 21st century? Consider this. We are a family of four, two of whom are students living away from home in termtime, one an academic living away from home in termtime (all three in different cities), and one person holding the fort at home. An initial reading of the questions suggested that we should all complete full details on the home questionnaire, and basic details on the other returns for those of us with second addresses. Seems logical, and the online process seemed to promise that we could each fill in our own bits. (Ten years ago it was easy, as we all sat round the kitchen table, but times, and lifestyles, have changed.)

However, closer examination of the guidance at the back of the form revealed that those employed away from home had to enter their personal details on the home form, but those who were studying away from home had to do so on the return for their secondary address. Apparently it is logically impossible for someone working away from home to 'usually reside' in two places (or, incidentally, for a child of separated parents to do so), but a student is expected to achieve this feat - perhaps they all should study quantum physics.

So that's clear(ish). Now to complete the form. I volunteer to make a start online, using the convenient 20-character access code. I list my partner as Person 1, since she is basically running the household in Wales while the rest of us swan around England. I immediately find that I'm not allowed to enter our sons' full surnames because they are too long, so enter as much as I can and make a note to invite them to go back and amend if they wish. I complete the household information and then move on to my personal questions; but I can't, because my partner's now have to be entered first. So I email the rest of the family to report progress, but first I think I'd better check that it will be possible for our sons to go back and amend their surnames. It won't. There's no going back. Nothing can be changed once it's entered – no errors corrected, no oversights rectified. What's done is done.

So much for the online form. We will now try, I guess, to complete the manual form by correspondence, in the few hours that remain to us; but there seems no way to prevent the online form being harvested next week, although it's only partially (and possibly wrongly) completed.

So, two questions. If a household bursting with academic qualifications is confused by these questions and instructions, how many others are going to get it wrong or give up? And if this is the best Lockheed Martin can do with an online questionnaire, why should anyone trust their planes?